تناقضات ذاكرة مغتربة ...

8.12.12

Growing up with Grey's Anatomy



For 9 years now , I have been a faithful fan of Grey's Anatomy, I have been watching it and God knows how many times I have cried, giggled , and laughed with the characters or screamed at my screen in protest. It's like I was living with them, watching them fulfill their dreams , secretly wishing I was Mer or Christina, secretly wondering how my life would have been if I went on with that Interview in Med School, secretly Dreaming.

Growing up with Mer have made me realize how much we have both changed since episode one; from being dark and twisty into being a wife, a mother and an attending Medusa.

Watching Karev growing up, being a mature doctor . Remember the time he almost killed a guy in the elevator ? Yes, we have came along way since then, Karev and I . Watching Yang being herself in the OR, being the bright amazing surgeon every time she operates on a heart, or every time her heart skips a beat at the sight of Owen.

It is like living in a parallel life, an alternative reality , experiencing the feelings of the characters , befriending them, loving them , laughing with them , crying for their losses and misfortunes; watching them lose people along the way … and they still have amazing stories to tell us … It is my magical world, My escape .. thank you Shonda, even though sometimes I get mad at you.. I know you have been an essential part of my alternative reality.  Thanks!

2.12.12

"تَ نكبر بعد بكيـــر ..شو صاير شو صاير؟"


اليوم كبرت عاما.. اشعر بأنني اكبر و اكثر خبرة في الالم .. اكثر خبرة في مجال الصدمات الموجعة و الذاكرة القاسية .. و الاوطان التي تنفي ابنائها  ... و المستقبل المبهم .
اليوم .. كانت فيروز تغني لنا بشجن اكبر و بحزن اكبر .. كأنها تعرف ما الذي يحصل لنا يوما بعد الاخر .

اليوم كبرنا و لم نكبر .. ما زالت حياتنا تعاملنا بنفس القسوة و بنفس المكابرة
اليوم ... ربما كبرنا ؟

7.11.12

لحظة عابرة

هذا الجمال يلاحقك . يتوسل إليك أن تنظري إليه ! هذه الأمواج التي تداعب أطراف أصابعك محملة باسرار عشاق ارسلوها إليك وحدك ... وراحوا
هذا الصوت ... يتخلل حواسك كلها في محاولة انقلاب فوضوية على الهدوء
هذه الظواهر كلها توحي إليك بالهذيان ... فاكتبيها أو ارسميها في ذاكرتك

"من أين أتيت ؟ وكيف أتيت ؟ و كيف عصفت بوجداني؟ "

30.10.12

عجبي

تحقق ذلك الحلم الذي كنت اريد .. او تلك الخطوة التي تقود اليه 
فمالي اشعر هكذا اذن؟ مالي لا ارقص فرحا بعد تعب اشهر! مالي لا اشعر بالراحة التي تسع الكون بما فيه؟

نفسي الطماعة تأبى الا ان تفكر في القادم ! تأبى ان تفرح في الذي بين يدي!
عجبي ايها الانسان .. كم جاحد انت!
عجبي 

11.10.12

\ˌä-pər-ˈtü-nə-tē, -ˈtyü-\



Opportunity | \ˌä-pər-ˈtü-nə-tē, -ˈtyü-\ | a favorable juncture of circumstances

This is what the dictionary tells me when I type "opportunity", a juncture of circumstances in your favor, but YOU my dear have to seize them before they pass you. You work your best, you try and try and keep trying.. You aim , shoot .. and wait.
You wait to see if your shot has hit the spot, and if it hasn't you aim again, you shoot again… and you wait.

After this very long waiting, something happens… something changes.
Your shot has made a mark, and you my friend have seized your opportunity, it's time to work now, to work so hard.. to prove that YOU – of all people – have deserved this opportunity .



 

Congratulations you have earned your opportunity.. Time to use it, time to WORK.

15.9.12

The winning-est winner of all!




...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!
Dr.Seuss




I did not write that , only I'm wondering … am I that kind of a guy?! 

Am I the one who gets out of a waiting zone with triumph? Or will I remain forever-forever here!?

Will I do wonders?  Or will I wonder till the end of it all?

Will I just fade away with the shadows one day? My edges blur and my sharpness smudge, will I lose that derive to conquer? Will I invade or will I surrender?

Am I the winning-est winner of all!? I still wonder !